Wings

This was made just before I started junior college. This was a very difficult time for me. I had originally wanted to go to the Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale, however, the school was expensive and the money simply wasn't there.  I ended up enrolling in the St. Petersburg Junior College to get my AA degree. I was frustrated because I felt like I was putting my dreams on hold to take more general education courses. More importantly was the backlash I seemed to get from those closest to me. I had been creating art since I was old enough to hold a crayon and yet most people I knew seemed genuinely shocked that I wanted to make I career out of art. I wondered why people hadn't been taking me seriously for the first 19 years of my life. I felt like people thought art was this phase I was suddenly going to snap out of. As if somehow by magic college was going to turn me into a doctor or engineer. 

Because I am the only artist in my family I felt like I had no one to relate to during this difficult time. I remember being so overwhelmed with frustration yet unable to talk about it. I've never been someone who bottles up emotion so I knew I needed to release it somehow. I created this page in one of my sketchbooks. 

It became this one page that contained all of my raw emotion. It was executed in a very brash and uncontrolled manner. It was the visual representation of the anger I was feeling. Now I had a way to literally face it and move on. 

I never threw it away because I wanted the ability to look back on it and see how far I had come emotionally and artistically. 

The following work was the first piece of art I made at junior college. I think the only parameter for the assignment was that it had to contain writing. Since enrolling at the junior college I had committed myself to a renewed ambition to make a career out of art so I decided to write about that. 

The words in the piece read as follows:
"Art is what I am made of. It will never be separated from me. I would always get mad at people when they told me to put other things in my life first. But art is what keeps me going. Anyone who ridiculed why I made art ridiculed my reason To Be. Everyone saw is as a fire of destruction, but I saw it as a fire of strength and growth. Everyone says that art is too hard to make a career out of, but if it is all I've wanted, why hold me back? I'm ready to give it my all because that is the only way I will ever be outstanding. I'm ready to let go with both hands and embrace what is mine. Art gives me a sense of wholeness that nothing else can. I'm tired of people testing my convictions, waiting for me to fail. Could it be so hard to believe that I know what is best for me? The one thing that makes great people great was their ability to listen to their instincts and say 'this is what I'm made for'. Letting go with both hands doesn't mean you have a safety net waiting. Letting go with both hands means you are ready to find your wings. This is not too good to be true."

Written across the edges of the landscape is a quote from a band named Trust Company:
"No one can see anything on the other side of me. I walk, I crawl, loosing everything waiting for a downfall."

I loved the way the lyrics tied into the piece. I had chosen to face away from the viewer because I was looking toward the future and walking my own path. I was ready to fly.

Much to my surprise most of the people in the class tried to offer me help because they thought I was suicidal. I had to explain to them that it was ultimately an optimistic piece about knowing who you are and allowing yourself to be that person.

When I look at this piece I see self awareness and hope. I didn't see my situation as a setback any more, I was just being redirected.

Silver Lining

I took this lovely photo while I was driving. I was headed to work and I saw this beautiful cloud formation with a halo of light bursting from the top. I don't remember why I had my camera with me, but I was glad that I did. Three seconds after I took this photo the cloud shifted and the light changed. 

Before the Cruise

This is one of my favorite photographs of my father. We were leaving the port of Tampa and he was completely caught up in the moment. I think some of the best portraits are taken when the subject isn't aware that they are being photographed. You end up capturing their true presence rather than a projected image. It is not often I see my father lost in moments like this. I love this photo because it captured something in my father that he rarely gets to express: genuine childlike enthusiasm and curiosity.

Cozumel

In the summer of 2008 my family went on a cruise to Cozumel Mexico.

This photo was taken at dusk on the first night of the cruise. I love the hot pink stripe that tears through the dusty blue sky. 

This was taken on the island of Cozumel. My father and I were taking a tour of the lighthouse and I wondered upon this child swinging in the yellow hammock. I was immediately taken by the blues of the ocean and sky and the deep browns of the posts and tables. I watched the child swinging for a moment. The breeze was coming in over the ocean. I took a deep breath. The air smelled like salt and honey. Such a beautifully relaxing moment. 

I took this photo of Cozumel from the back of the cruise ship.  I love composition of the flag floating over the city. 

Painting

Admittedly, I wouldn't consider myself much of a painter. I prefer to work in dry media because I feel like I have better control. At one of my final semesters at UCF I enrolled in an Advanced Drawing class. Because only a small number of students signed up, we were all moved into the Advanced Painting class. The instructor told us that we were welcome to draw, however, he encouraged us to paint because that was the only thing he was going to teach. I decided to go with the flow and try to learn something new. To my disappointment the instructor was reluctant to teach the basics of painting and I found myself working in a unfamiliar medium with little direction. I had never taken a painting class before and now I was in an advanced class trying to figure out how to do simple things like use a brush. The only thing the instructor would tell me was that he "didn't like my brush strokes". When I asked him how I could improve my technique he would only offer vague advice like "just keep trying". 

One day he came up to me and again proclaimed that he "didn't like my brush strokes". In a moment of frustration I threw my brush down and said "FINE!". I smeared paint all over my hands and forearms and rubbed them all over the canvas. I rarely used a brush in his class after that. 

"The Sneeze"

After I painted the background yellow I used my finger tips to create the field of green. For the blue, I soaked a rubber dog toy in paint and slapped it against the canvas.

"The Spark"

This affect was achieved by flicking the paint on to the canvas. 

"Slippery"

For this piece I layered thin waves of green over a yellow background. Thick globs of dark green and blue were dropped onto the canvas.

"The Flare"

For this one I painted spurts of red and splattered black on top.

As frustrating as the process was in the beginning, I have to say that I did enjoy the liberation that came from choosing not to use a brush. Shortly before I began these paintings I had started to work with a performance art company called DRIP. The first show I was involved with was one we did for the Orlando Fringe Festival called "WET". During "WET" the dancers used their bodies as a way to move paint and create art. As I worked on these paintings I began to see it as my way to better understand DRIP and use my own body as a medium to create.

Being in a class I was uncomfortable in, being willing to try something new, and ultimately finding my own solutions, helped me relate to art in a brand new way. I was no longer just the creator, I was actively involved and participating on a whole new level.

Neill

I took this photo of my friend Neill while we were in his car. I had brought my camera and I began taking pictures of him because I knew it would get on his nerves. I ended up getting this shot. It is my favorite picture of him because it captures that expression that is uniquely his: a slight smirk under his beard and eyes that hint at a mischievous nature. I can't believe that one picture was able to capture his personality so well. 

Central Park

I was lucky enough to go to New York in fall of 2007. New York has an energy like no where else on earth. My sister Jenny and I spent almost an entire day walking around in Central Park just taking it all in. Shortly after we got to the park I took this picture of a statue covered in birds. I love that in the middle of this energetic city you can still lose yourself in moments of serenity.

This was a path in Central Park. It was right around Thanksgiving and I was lucky enough to see some green as well as the changing of the seasons. It was such a perfect fall day. 

This was towards the end of our walk through Central Park. I love the way you can see the accomplishment of man and the beauty of nature in the same picture without either one taking over. They work together in perfect harmony.