Twirl

The Green Dress

In the SCA, one needs time period appropriate garb to attend events. For the longest time all I had was the blue tunic from Tim and the black dress I had borrowed for the renaissance faire that Melissa had given to me. I loved them both but I had yet to have something truely of my own. I sat down one day and came up with four sketches for dresses I wanted to make. Seth, one of the heavy fighters, agreed to help me make a dress. He learned how to sew from his mother and carried that love from making halloween customes into making his own garb for the SCA. He was going to help me make the simplest dress; the green dress. 

When it came down to getting the fabric we found a bed sheet from Goodwill that we would use for the under dress. Serendipitously, Vicky - another fencer, had fabric she wanted to give me. I met her at her house and she gave me the lovely stack of wool. She expressed concern that I wouldn’t like the color. I laughed and told her that the dress I was making was green. 

With all the pieces in place Seth went to work. 

The serenity in this photo belies the fact that he was blasting death metal.

Photo by Seth Fleury

He even modeled it on himself.

When I finally got to try on the dress I was thrilled.

It looked just like my sketch. It reminded me of the sketchbooks I used to have in high school, all filled with characters in lovely dresses. Even when I was little I used to love to play dress up. I would come to the dinner table wearing the prettiest dresses I could find. Throughout the majority of my childhood I wanted to be a princess for Halloween. As I grew into an adult dress up became something that was less and less practical. All my dresses and designs became pages in sketchbooks; concepts for outfits I would never touch. 

But to have this dress felt deeply fullfiling. I was a kid indulging in dress up all over again. I felt like a princess. One of my sketches literally come to life. Able to connect with a childhood dream. Vicky and Seth had helped make it happen. My first SCA outfit; the green dress. 

Pear

The is a rediscovered drawing from a college art class. The goal was to create a line study of an object. Not by simply outlining it, but looking closer at planes and structure. 

As simple as it is I've always loved this picture. It has a sense of texture and mass without any shading. It forces you to see the object in a completely different way while still feeling like you could reach out and grab it. It is abstracted yet solid, tangible, and strangely elegant. 

The Bet

Back in high school I took an art class with a friend who was a very devoted fan of anime. I love the human form. I was always interested in people and how to capture everything from their powerful movements to subtle gestures. I would argue with my friend that although most anime was very detailed it often lacked the intricacies of anatomy. 

My friend was offended at my statement. "Yeah, well I bet you couldn't even draw anime" 

"Are you serious?" I boasted "Of course I can!" 

I borrowed one of his manga comic books called Oh My Goddess! and set to work. 

Within a few days I produced this illustration featuring five of the main characters from the story. Two of the characters feet remain unfinished to this day. However, when I showed the drawing to my friend his jaw hit the floor.

"You're right" he conceded "You can draw it extremely well."

So far this remains my one and only attempt at drawing anime.

This self-induced project born out of a bet helped me realized that I could create anything with pencil and paper.

Skull Study

Recently I had gone through some of my old drawings and I found this: 

A study of a skull that I had done in college. It reminded me of how much I loved my drawing classes. The funny thing is that I have drawn that skeleton so many times I was sure I would be sick of it. But the truth is that I can only see it as a thing of beauty. The roundness of the cranium, the angles of the jaw, the way the cheek bone sticks out to define the face - it is structure and definition at its finest. 

Grecian

I recently came across this sketch I had made a while back while waiting for some repairs to be done on my car. I find that my need to create and fill time has lead to the production of some unexpected and beautiful pieces. 

Lost Sketches

Moving recently has once again forced me into cleaning. I found a box that I had almost left behind in the hall closet. I had it in my car for over a week before I decided to go through it. It was full of notebooks from one of my early semesters at the University of Central Florida. As much as I like to throw things away to de-clutter my life I am always forced to pour over old notebooks. You see, it is not the information that I read, I am scouring for lost sketches. Bits of inspiration lost between notes that no longer serve me. Over time, the random images that feed my creativity become the most valuable part.

So I sit in the drive way of my new abode and flip through aging paper slowly. I usually find something interesting. This time I got very lucky.

I actually remember drawing this one during a long break between classes. I was flipping through a magazine and used an ad for hair products as inspiration. I had also fallen in love with Pre-Raphaelite art around the same time and she reminds me of the work of Dante Gabriel Rossetti, particularly when painting one of his muses Jane Morris. Most paintings of her emphasize her romantic regal bearing and her stunning, wavy hair. 

This sketch was done in the same sitting as the one above but from a different source of inspiration. As I continued to flip through the magazine I found a striking image from one of the high fashion ads. I remember that the model had vibrant red hair with strong, black smokey eyes. The original image was very dramatic and arresting. I wanted to recreate that with my own hands. 

This image is actually on a scrap piece of paper and much smaller than the other two. I almost missed it between the pages of my old notebook. With such powerful expression of form and movement I must have been looking at one of my art history books and focused on a piece of sculpture. 

"I Hope You Enjoy This, As I Do Enjoy Our Friendship"

A while ago my friend Matt bought me a book. It was called "The Handmaid's Tale" by Margaret Atwood. It is a wonderfully written, heartbreaking distopia, and I highly recommend that you read it if you get the chance.

Matt and I were supposed to hang out one weekend, however, he got held up in Tampa. When he returned he presented the book to me with a handwritten note on the inside cover expressing his hope  that I would find the same love and inspiration that he felt through this book. Shuffled amongst the pages was another handwritten note. This one was written after he found out he wasn't going to make it back to Orlando in time. He apologized for the lost weekend, expressed more love for the book, and most curiously of all - included an illustration on the back.

The end of the note read: "I drew this fairly recently, and I like it. Actually, I really like the woman, not so much the man. But it was an attempt at realistic art. (When I draw real art, I <3 <3 <3 the 40's.) Anyways, I hope you enjoy this, as I do enjoy our friendship."

I turned the note over to find this little illustration:

A Matthew Dodenhoff original

I've become accustomed to Matt leaving notes and illustrations all over Starbucks when we work together. Almost everyone is meant to draw laughter, especially when accompanied by a silly caption. However, this one was different. No silly phrase, no goofy characters, not even any context. It just looked like to people who's lives intersect briefly on a street corner without so much as a word.

I was touched by the book and the note, but the illustration stayed on my mind. Maybe because it was so unusual, maybe it was because being an artist I don't receive much artwork. 

A few month's later Matt endured a difficult move. Although he remained in Orlando he moved across the city to be closer to work and struggled to get out of a living arrangement with a bad roommate. I had some rough living situations and I could definitely sympathize. Once he settled into his adorable apartment I set to work on his housewarming present.

I took inspiration from his note and decided to recreate his illustration with my style of drawing. I also pulled some ideas from Mad Men and I ended up with this:

From start to finish it took about seven hours and it is one of the first pure illustrations I have done in a long time.  For the most part I create illustrations for myself but this one was made for Matt. 

Facial Planes

I made this self portrait with the goal to define facial planes. Facial planes are the areas that the skin changes direction based on the underlying bone structure. It is an interesting way to compose a picture because you are not necessarily depicting what is there; you are constructing an image based on shapes and forms.

This was a valuable illustration because it became the basis for my digital portraits. To see examples of my digital portraits please visit the following link:

http://currentsandcolor.blogspot.com/2010/08/digital-art.html

Parting Gifts

My first job was working at the Albertson's grocery store down the street from my parents house. I spent two years as a bagger and two years as a cashier. When I decided to move to Orlando I knew I was making the right decision but it was tough to leave some of the coworkers I had become close to. Before I left I made them some illustrations as my way of showing them that I valued our time together.

Jackie did the accounting for the store. She was smart, did her job very well, and always cut to the chase. She didn't spent a lot of time in frivolous conversation because she was so efficient with her tasks. She only spent time talking with people with whom she respected. Since I started out as a bagger she had no reason to respect me, so she hardly ever spoke to me. However, I was a consistent and friendly worker and I won her over in time. Once I became a cashier I was one of her favorites. She would rave about how my bills were always organized and my coupon pouch was immaculate. I was proud of my friendship with Jackie because I knew that I had earned her respect. I made her this illustration:

This illustration (a photocopy of the original) was as meticulous as her work style. I was nervous about giving it to her because I didn't know how she would react to it. When she told me that she loved it, with that rare smile reaching across her face, I knew that she meant it. 

Dan, another coworker, was one of the baggers and probably the person I worked with the most. He was very shy at first but once we got to know each other we became a solid team. All the other baggers at our store were either teenage boys or older men. I was the only girl and Dan was a bit of square peg in a round hole because I think he might have had a slight mental handicap. He did his job better than the other baggers and had a great sense of humor so I never asked him about it. I never wanted to insult him or make him feel like less of a person because I thought so highly of him. 

We were the two misfit baggers who did our job better than all the other guys. We always helped each other out. When they decided to make me a cashier I was afraid that I wasn't going to be able to work with Dan as much. He just smiled and said "Don't worry, I'll bag for your register". And he did. I remember so many days where we got slammed and every cashier had a long line of people, each with a full cart of groceries. But Dan always bagged for me. 

My favorite thing about working with Dan was his sense of humor. We were always cracking jokes and making fun of each other. We were almost always the late night closers at our store and we would frequently take turns giving each other rides on the grocery carts and using the store intercom as though it were a toy. If I had to remain stuck at my register on slow nights he would clean the other registers near mine while we would act out skits from MAD TV. We laughed all day long and still did our jobs better than everyone else. 

He saw the drawing I made for Jackie. I could tell by the look on his face that he thought I was going to give him a girly picture. That was when I presented this to him:

Dan was a huge wrestling fan, and his favorite wrestler was Stone Cold Steve Austin. Dan had seen many of the drawing I had made over the years and most of them were of feminine characters. This was one of my first attempts at a realistic, ultra masculine figure. Dan was completely shocked. He had the biggest smile on his face. He didn't say much but I could tell that he loved it. 

I was proud to share my work with both of them. 

Hermes and Maia

Another gem from one of my high school sketchbooks:

As I was working I loved the how the expressions on the faces were turning out and the characters began to remind me of the Greek god Hermes and his mother Maia. This is another example of one of my illustrations taking on a life of its own.

At a very young age my father bought me a book about Greek Mythology. I loved that it was over my head at the time; it made me feel like I had to keep up with him. I remember how he would read it out loud to me while I kept asking him questions. When he was done reading for the night I would take the book to my room and look at the illustrations over and over again before I was told to go to bed. All these years later and I still have that book. The cover is ripped and most of the pages have fallen out of the binding; but they are all there. All of the illustrations are embedded in my long term memory. That book was the beginning of my love of Greek Culture. 

One of my favorite stories from that book was about Hermes and how precocious he was as a child. On the first day he was born he snuck away from his sleeping mother, stole Apollo's cattle, and invented a musical instrument called the lyre. He grew to become the quick-witted messenger of the gods, as well as being associated with travelers, poets, orators, athletes, thieves, invention, and commerce. 

When I was making this illustration I had not intended to have any context behind it, however, the facial expressions and demeanors of the characters began to remind me of Hermes and Maia. The clever Hermes occupies his time with playing a musical instrument. His mother, caught up in her daily tasks, lovingly shakes her head at a mischievous son who, although bright, was most likely a handful to raise. 

Cupid and Psyche

I was cleaning my room and I found an old sketch book I had in high school. I was flipping through the pages when I found this gem:

Normally in my sketchbooks I would focus on a character and not include a background. This was the first illustration I made in this book that just took over the entire page. Most of my illustrations took a few hours but I remember laboring over this one for days. I modeled it after a Pre-Raphaelite painting I saw and just fell in love with the detail. I wanted to recreate every feather, every leaf, every fold in the fabric. I spent hours fussing over how to get the reflection just right. 

When I was done my hands were sore, I had barely gotten up from my desk for days, and my parents were worried about me. I was so proud when I could finally show it off. I even surprised myself with how much I could devote myself to a project. No spot on this piece of paper was spared from my hands. 

I adore this picture for its beauty as well as being a personal monument to my drive and passion. 

The Muse

A while back my father and I went to a Greek Festival in St. Petersburg. We were there for hours eating pastries, talking to people, and looking over various knickknacks and books. I came across one booth where an older woman was selling these wall hangings she made out of plaster and fabric. One caught my eye in particular: Thalia, the muse of comedy. I bought the little figurine and put it up in my room. Years later I drew her for an art project. She reminds me of the love of culture and learning that my father instilled in me, and to always keep a good sense of humor.

The Break

In 2007 I was enrolled in an Advanced Drawing class. All of our projects were centered around human anatomy. The teacher left the students to decide the context of the imagery. My boyfriend and I were going through a break up and I decided to let the inner workings of the human body become a metaphor for my inner conflict.

We were both grounded on the floor to symbolize how hurt we were. I gave him the musculature and an upright position as a reference to my hope that he would take charge of the situation and be stronger. His hopeless downward gaze and his back being turn to the viewer was meant to represent his detachment and lack of resolve. He extends his feet rather than his arms to signify a disrespect for my feelings. 

I lay across from him with my entire body on the floor and bone structure visible to represent the depth of the hurt I was feeling. My body is more open to the viewer to symbolize my willingness to face the problem. My left arm wraps around my legs to show my desire to save myself. My right arm reaches out to him and I am looking up waiting for him to move. He continues to stare at the floor. 

This is a large multi-panel piece. It starts of with a large portrait of myself lost in thought. The rest of the panels are manifestations of my thoughts. The smaller picture of my ex and I is a reference to the previous two panel piece. However, in this image I am completely turned away from him. I am moving in the opposite direction toward a steep drop.  This is my acknowledgment of the difficult road ahead but also knowing that it is the only way out. The image of myself in the background drawing on the easel was meant to symbolize my change in perspective and willingness to embrace the future. The image of myself sitting in front of the skeleton was my way of expressing a desire to be true to my inner self. 

Nude Study

This was a study of a live nude model I did in junior college. A few years later, with the encouragement of an instructor, I photographed the image, reprinted it on arches paper and drew the musculature over the original. 

Pasta Dish

This was an illustration I made for a recipe card. I don't normally draw food so this ended up being quite a challenge. It took several hours but I love the way it came out. My eyes enjoy the deep contrast between the warm, earthy colors of the plate and the cool, rich colors in the background. 

Self Portrait with Bone Structure

Since I gravitate towards figure drawing, anatomy is a very important part of the artwork I make. I'm blessed with a good eye for proportions, however, getting the figure and the skeleton to look right independent of each other is very different from getting them to match up together. It it a difficult way to approach anatomy but it it is ultimately worthwhile.

The hardest part of these drawings is that you have to take the skeleton that is available and adjust it to fit your own anatomy. You end up learning more about yourself without even realizing it. 

Of the three, this one is my favorite. I think it is the best self portrait but I also love the composition of the background. I ended up positioning myself between two huge mirrors and was able to capture the ongoing reflection of the frames. 

Wings

This was made just before I started junior college. This was a very difficult time for me. I had originally wanted to go to the Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale, however, the school was expensive and the money simply wasn't there.  I ended up enrolling in the St. Petersburg Junior College to get my AA degree. I was frustrated because I felt like I was putting my dreams on hold to take more general education courses. More importantly was the backlash I seemed to get from those closest to me. I had been creating art since I was old enough to hold a crayon and yet most people I knew seemed genuinely shocked that I wanted to make I career out of art. I wondered why people hadn't been taking me seriously for the first 19 years of my life. I felt like people thought art was this phase I was suddenly going to snap out of. As if somehow by magic college was going to turn me into a doctor or engineer. 

Because I am the only artist in my family I felt like I had no one to relate to during this difficult time. I remember being so overwhelmed with frustration yet unable to talk about it. I've never been someone who bottles up emotion so I knew I needed to release it somehow. I created this page in one of my sketchbooks. 

It became this one page that contained all of my raw emotion. It was executed in a very brash and uncontrolled manner. It was the visual representation of the anger I was feeling. Now I had a way to literally face it and move on. 

I never threw it away because I wanted the ability to look back on it and see how far I had come emotionally and artistically. 

The following work was the first piece of art I made at junior college. I think the only parameter for the assignment was that it had to contain writing. Since enrolling at the junior college I had committed myself to a renewed ambition to make a career out of art so I decided to write about that. 

The words in the piece read as follows:
"Art is what I am made of. It will never be separated from me. I would always get mad at people when they told me to put other things in my life first. But art is what keeps me going. Anyone who ridiculed why I made art ridiculed my reason To Be. Everyone saw is as a fire of destruction, but I saw it as a fire of strength and growth. Everyone says that art is too hard to make a career out of, but if it is all I've wanted, why hold me back? I'm ready to give it my all because that is the only way I will ever be outstanding. I'm ready to let go with both hands and embrace what is mine. Art gives me a sense of wholeness that nothing else can. I'm tired of people testing my convictions, waiting for me to fail. Could it be so hard to believe that I know what is best for me? The one thing that makes great people great was their ability to listen to their instincts and say 'this is what I'm made for'. Letting go with both hands doesn't mean you have a safety net waiting. Letting go with both hands means you are ready to find your wings. This is not too good to be true."

Written across the edges of the landscape is a quote from a band named Trust Company:
"No one can see anything on the other side of me. I walk, I crawl, loosing everything waiting for a downfall."

I loved the way the lyrics tied into the piece. I had chosen to face away from the viewer because I was looking toward the future and walking my own path. I was ready to fly.

Much to my surprise most of the people in the class tried to offer me help because they thought I was suicidal. I had to explain to them that it was ultimately an optimistic piece about knowing who you are and allowing yourself to be that person.

When I look at this piece I see self awareness and hope. I didn't see my situation as a setback any more, I was just being redirected.

Self Portrait

This was a self portrait I made for an intermediate drawing class at UCF. I had gotten off work late and headed down to the studio to draw. I was tired but once I got started I felt compelled to keep going. I surprised myself with the level of detail I was able to achieve. When I showed it to my teacher he loved it but asked why I had such an intense expression on my face. I told him that I had to fight with a freshman for a spot by the mirror. I won.

Jacques Callot Study

This was an illustration I made in junior college. I had some really good art teachers but my favorite was Kevin Grass. He was a photorealistic painter and illustrator. He was a tough teacher, demanding the best from his students and grading accordingly. Sensitive students found him difficult, but I knew I could learn a lot from him. I constantly asked him for his honest opinions and criticism of my work. He taught me how to shade and how to approach anatomy. My skills improved so much in that class.

For our final assignment he had us recreate a sketch from a master artist from one of our books. I chose a sketch by a French artist named Jacques Callot. The drawing had to be close to life size so I got a huge piece of brown paper and taped it to the dinning room wall. It took several hours but I was pleased with the results. When I brought it to class I noticed that several kids had done the same illustration as me, but mine looked the best. I will never forget when Kevin Grass walked up to my picture. He looked it over and said "I'm going to give you a B because the shading on the leg is a little off". He wrote my grade down in his grade book and casually stated "You did a really good job, it looks great". Coming from a man who rarely gave praise, that was a huge compliment. I was so proud of that B.