The Drum Circle

I came to the drum circle not knowing what to expect.

As I moved timidly toward the lot I could hear the steady pace of the drums grow louder. They were calling me out of the dark and pulling me closer to common ground.

Light from the flames flashed across the faces and rhythmic hands of the drummers closest to the center. Belly dancers moved hypnotically; they struck lightning to the rolling thunder of the drums. The fire rose, a hungry demon to lick the night.

For a moment I sit back and watch; breathe deeply and take it all in. I wonder how many times throughout history have small groups gathered around fires. How much of our humanity is tied to moments like this?

I've seen anthropology exhibits before. I've walked through the hushed rooms and I have gazed upon the skulls. But history is not quiet. We are so much more than bones.

Before cities, before agriculture, before written language; what did we share? Lost in darkness surrounded by beasts we huddled together. We used our hands to pound out noise that would become our identity. This scene, so prevalent throughout our history, is something most of us do not experience today.

I sit on the edge of the Drum Circle. The dancers feed off the steady pulse that fills the air. I remember the tattoo on my back. Six hands representing my family resembling the handprints left on cave walls by our ancestors. Another reminder of how small gaps in time can be. Now those hands seem to push me forward. I can't stand still anymore. I move into the circle and begin to dance. I want to be part of history.

Hope in a Stormy Sky

A while ago I was waiting in a Starbucks to meet up with Mariko. It had been raining for a while and the sky was masked with clouds. The unsettled atmosphere seemed to match my mood. Just after I had arrived the rain had begun to let up and light burst from the setting sun. I looked up from my notes and was able to get this shot.

About seven minutes later I looked up again took this photograph.

I was amazed at how beautiful the heavens had become after such a nasty downpour. The textured wash of serene colors behind the trees reminded be that any storm can be weathered and that the best days are worth the fight. 

Mariko came in and sat down next to me. We began working on our project. The clouds blurred away as the night took over the sky. I could already feel my luck start to change. 

Lace and Light

A while ago I stopped at Dandelion Tea for a bite to eat. As I was finishing my meal I happened to glance up at the window.

I was taken by the shifting colors on the glass lanterns in front of a window covered in lace. There was plenty of light coming through, but the lace gave the spring afternoon just the right ambiance. 

So I sat in Dandelion, finishing my tea. Someone sitting across the room from me is reading his paper. The wood floor creaks as some people shuffle to the counter to place their orders. I'm perfectly content with my spot in the sun. 

More Adventures in Virginia

I was lucky enough to be able to visit my best friend Laura and her husband before they moved back down to Florida. These are a collection of some of the photos from my travels.

This is the school where Laura's father is employed. The Science Center has a beautiful glass window that overlooks a field stretching to the Rappahannock River. 

After a failed attempt at kayaking due to a closed park, Laura and I found another wooded path with access to the river. Once we got to the water I took this photo of some twisted vines sprawling out in the sunlight. 

I came across some butterflies who were so consumed with what they were doing that they didn't seem to mind me looming over them. I was able to get so close that I didn't need to use the zoom on my camera.

The Jefferson Memorial through the trees.

Light blazing through the Prism Window at the Smithsonian American Indian Museum.

At the Natural History Museum they had recreated a cave wall and simulated some Neolithic Art. There was a enormous section of the wall devoted to cave hand painting. As I studied the wall I found these two overlapping hands. Simplistic and surprisingly tender; this touching image hints at two people who once shared a powerful bond.

This was a facial reconstruction of a colonial settler who's remains were found near the D.C. area. It never ceases to amaze me how they can breathe so much life into someone who has been gone for so long. It makes history feel so close. 

Walking back across the street I happened to look down and see my little friend again. 

The Washington Monument framed by a tree.

Walking around near Laura's apartment in Fredericksburg I saw the statue of a saint carefully tucked between two buildings. 

George Washington's house at Mount Vernon.

A monument to George Washington's slaves who are buried on the property.

I think most people get a slight bit anxious before their plan takes off. I happened to glance out my window and see this young air traffic controller. She had her arms cross and looked visibly bored while she waited for us to take off. I laughed to myself and took her photo. A strangely reassuring sign that everything was under control.

The woman sitting across the isle from me. Arms folded around her water bottle and bathed in the light from the setting sun. 

The sun setting on my return flight home. I will never grow tired of having the window seat.

Ascent

Ascent
The moment we take off fog rushes over the wing;

As if we have somehow magically reached the clouds in an instant.

The dark landscape below is generously laden with gems of light;

Evoking memories of some glittering antique jewelry box.

The sparkling hills tilt and shift as we climb further into the mist.

The window across the isle is painted with soft blues and blazing oranges.

The sky ignites with morning as the sun races to catch us.

Liquid Light

This painting was made after the DRIP show we performed at the Fringe Festival in 2008 called WET. During the show we had dancers performing silhouetted against a screen projected with light and different colored liquids. It was an absolutely breathtaking show to watch as well as be a part of.

Months after the show I made this paining and I had a bit of a revelation. This painting reminded me of drawings that I made in 7th grade that were very similar. A figure silhouette against a green background with light radiating around their body. For some reason I never saved those drawings and I had almost forgotten about making them until I had finished this painting. 

That memory ended up being a huge affirmation for me. Something I am currently involved with is reminiscent of sketches I made years ago. I felt very in tune with my sub-conscious and my inner child. It reminded me that trusting yourself is one of the best gifts you can give yourself. Most people view leaps of faith as dangerous, I believe they can save you. 

I'm on the right track. I know I was made for this. 

Matthew

I will never forget the first time I saw Matt. I was working at Starbucks and I was coming out from the back room. I was passing by the register and he was standing at the counter talking to one of my coworkers. Something about him made me stop dead in my tracks. His eyes gave me the immediate impression that he was kind and open-minded.

"What can I help you with?" I asked, a bit skeptical of my own intuition.
"I was wondering if you guys are hiring?"

At first he looked too young to work there, but as it turns out he was twenty and had already been employed at a Starbucks in Tampa for about a year. He was moving to Orlando to go back to school and he wanted to transfer. I wrote down his information and wished him luck. I walked to the back room with the note in my hand. I put the piece of blue paper on my managers desk but before I walked away I read over his name one more time. Matthew Dodenhoff. I couldn't explain it, but I had a good feeling about him.

The next day my manager told me that she had hired him, two days later was our first shift working together.

We became friends immediately. As we worked that day we always found ourselves running into each other, like there was some pull for us to interact. It was an oddly reassuring feeling; one that I still try to understand.

Less than a month later he invited me to a CocoaRosie concert. I've never been one for going out downtown, but I said yes without thinking. After we got there he started to feel dizzy. We were sitting on some stairs waiting for the show to start when he leaned towards me and put his head down across my lap. I put my arm around his shoulder to comfort him and we sat there quietly for a few minutes in a crowd full of rowdy people waiting for the show to start. Normally the bar scene makes me anxious, but in that moment I felt calm. We sat there in an unspoken trust and waited for the show to start.

CocoaRosie was wonderful and they put on a very unique show. I was glad for the experience but my favorite part was seeing Matt so excited over one of his favorite bands.

I short time after that I found out that I was going to be honored at Starbucks because it was my five year anniversary with the company. I had a lot of mixed feelings about that. On one hand I was glad I had been employed for so long at the same place, but on the other hand I felt like my employment at Starbucks was not a truly accurate representation of myself as a person. It felt strange to get an award for that.

Matt was working with me that day and he could tell I was upset. I told him about how proud I was of other things going on in my life, particularly my involvement with DRIP. He listened to me talk about the shows we had done in the past and he told me that he would love to see the next one. I remember the sincerity in his voice and expression standing out more to me than the actual words he used.

The next DRIP event that was held after that was the "Rock Out with your Cocktails Out" fundraiser. Matt helped with the set up for the show as well as perform some of his original music.

I was in charge of the fundraiser and it was a huge responsibility for me. I was so focused on the show that I had forgotten to request the next day off work at Starbucks so I could rest. Unfortunately I was scheduled to work an opening shift which starts at 4:30am. I was exhausted, making drinks for an endless line, trying to remain upbeat. Matt was at the register talking orders and marking cups. It was too busy for him to talk to me, but he managed to grab an extra cup and stick it in the queue:

In my haste I grabbed the cup looking for what to ingredients to put in it when I read "You are doing a great job. I would be dead if I were you". I was like a hug I need so badly. More encouragement to keep going. 

Matt loves to write notes. Most of them are just plain funny. Sometimes when I come in to open he leaves notes from the night before. They are taped to the register, the floor, inside the refrigerators, and sometimes hanging from the ceiling. None of our coworkers are spared from receiving these goofy little notes, but I think I treasure them more then anyone else. I have most of them saved in an envelope in my desk. 

I remember one day we had made plans to hang out. He was going to meet me at Publix when he got off work. It ended up pouring rain and I stood outside by the door trying to spot him. I finally saw him waving from his car and I decided to run for it. As I was running he got out of his car to open his umbrella. As soon as the umbrella was open we almost collided underneath it. "Hi" we both said to each other laughing. Looking back I think this image became the perfect metaphor for our friendship. We seem to fumble around sometimes, not sure what to do with ourselves, but when we are together the worst of circumstances never feel that bad. We can laugh at anything, huddled under our umbrella. 

Later that day we went to the Maitland Art Center, a little architectural gem tucked away between the train tracks and Lake Sybelia. We wandered around outside in the rain looking at all the buildings modeled after the Mayan culture. I can't think of many people who would want to be outside in the rain looking at architecture with me, but he enjoyed it, and I enjoyed having him with me. 

More than anything else I think it is the simple things that he does that leave the biggest impressions on me. The silly notes, bursting into song at work, a pomegranate and a chocolate bar on a bad day. His enjoyment in playing the harp, the nicknames that he bestows upon me, and the way that he makes Taco Bell fun on a rainy day. Sitting on the grass in a park talking about everything from pet peeves to the spiritually profound. No subject is too small or too taboo to discuss. The variety and depth of conversation is simply enlivening. Sometimes it's the way we can look at each other and laugh without having to say a word. His knowing smile says so much. 

Photo by Amber Pressly 

Early on I was struggling to put this unique bond into words.

"How would you describe it?" I  asked him one day while we were sitting at the park. He stood up and brushed his hair away from his face. He thought for a brief moment.

"It feels like home" he said. "There have only been a few people I've meet in my life that I've felt a bond with right away, and you are one of them. It feels like home. Is that weird?"

I stared at him for a moment, stunned.

"There was one word that I was thinking of; it was home".

Looking back on that first day I met him, it's amazing to see how powerfully he has impacted my life. He can bring a sense of playful inventiveness to the most ordinary of days. That spirited magic and sense of humor can still catch me by surprise, but I enjoy the journey. Being around Matt is just good for my soul.