Thursday, February 23, 2017


I can only see you in the dark. When my eyes are closed. Surrounded by the endless unknown.

There was a time when I could watch your smile dance upon your face. I could feel the scars on your body. I used to know the color of your eyes. The smell of your skin reminded me of home. But I've never had a city to call my own.

I think I was always destined to be alone. I'm a fighter, a hunter. I love freedom. Tradition is control dressed up so the shackles feel like jewelry. Autonomy is the purest form of power. I never sought the company of others because I had no equal.

But you found me.

An accidental meeting that felt more like a collision. You were smart, charismatic, and a fighter as well. You held my interest like no one else. We could overcome the demons in the darkness with our fire. You saw the flickering moonlight in my soul and knew that was what you craved. You never tried to take me way from the things I loved. You had no ambition to tame me. Your love was real because you desired the wild.

You told me once that an extinguished passion is only dust in the wind, and you were here to play with fire.

I was always myself but in you I had someone I could be free with. I could run with you, fly with you. You never tried to slow me down. You kept up and encouraged me to be better.

But fate would take you from me. I mourned you with a flood of tears. I was used to being alone but for the first time I felt emptiness. Your absence wasn't merely just physical presence but a part of my future that was lost. Of course I can exist without you but the meaning is gone.

Sometimes I tell myself I can keep going because I'm strong. But other times I think I can feel you lying next to me. I catch a glimpse of you out of the corner of my eye. But you're not there.

People don't understand why I love to be alone. Why I find comfort in the dark. The truth is, out here, in the cold and the quiet, is the closest I can ever be to you.

Even though you are gone you still light my world.

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